Ho Down

I said I wanted to see Texas Tech in the National Title Game. I don’t. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was sipping on that Texas Tech Kool-Aid. I was seduced by that ever so sexy offense. I had forgotten what TTU is. A system offense that has been producing 400 yard passing games for years now. The Red Raiders of TTU are frauds. Fakers. Posers. They’re the Kimbo Slice of college football.

But here’s the thing. In watching them get pasted by Oklahoma and barely squeak by against Baylor a buddy of mine noted that “Texas Tech will never win a national title in football.” Think about that. The team is 11-1. Even if they somehow sneak into and win the Big 12 title game – which they won’t – they’d get passed over for the national championship in a heartbeat. My friend and I debated about this for a while and came to that conclusion. The BCS would sooner throw USC or Penn State into the fray. Why? Because Tech doesn’t have the panache, the cachet, the outright reputation of either of the two previous schools.

And that’s what seems to matter in college football. The reputation. Preseason rankings especially, regular season rankings and BCS bowl selections are all based on reputation. In addition to being a reputable program, a team must have the obligatory 12-0 or 11-1 or (gasp) 10-2 record and should, lest we experience another Miami-Nebraska ass kicking of 2002 Rose Bowl, win their conference.

Combine these two factors and the smattering of 117 Division-1 schools eligible to win the title becomes a dearth of 6 or 7 teams. As of right now, 3:30 pm on Sunday November 30^th, a half hour before the BCS rankings come out, there are 6 teams capable of playing for the National Title. Actually, its only 4, considering multiple entrants from the same conference.

Florida
Oklahoma
Alabama
Texas
Southern California
Penn State

• The winner of the Florida/Alabama contest will decide one half of the National Title game. The loser has to hope it doesn’t get the Capital One Bowl.

• Texas or Oklahoma, whichever team is ahead in the polls blah blah blah you already know this, gets the honor of laying the smack down on Missouri and will comprise the other half of the national title game.

• Thanks to a Beaver loss (don’t you hate that?) Southern Cal will get in if Missouri scores an upset in the Big 12 title game.

• Penn State can sneak in if Mizzou wins and USC loses against UCLA – please Pete Carroll, DO NOT let this happen…again.

• What about undefeated Boise State and Utah? Tough luck, suckers. Come back when you’ve become reputable name brands. Your 12-0 records aren’t good enough for the BCS.

As we head into the last week of the college football season is it fair that only 4 teams will have the chance to play for the title? Of course not. In no other sport would this ever happen.

My Two Cents

I say this with the utmost respect for USC ( a team I root for) and UT. But the match-up I want to see, and the best match-up possible is Florida vs. Oklahoma. I detest OU, but have a suspicion they will jump over UT in the BCS rankings.

As for the game?

OU plays Big 12 defense. Which means they don’t do it very well. I don’t think any team in the conference plays defense. Example: If OU gets 3 stops per game their offense will turn it into 3 scores and a minimum 20 point victory.

I rescind my earlier comment of UF not playing defense. They shut down a pretty good, but enigmatic, Florida State offense.

My prediction: UF over OU in a close, hard fought title game. I’ll go with 41-36.

I’m no psychic, but I did live in Florida. That makes me a de facto college football expert. And just a wee bit biased. Let’s see if my predictions hold up.

NYC vs DC Round 1

New York City and Washington DC. Two centers of American intellect, culture, and leadership. With the exception of the movie making mecca of Los Angeles, these are the two most influential cities in the States; and arguably in the world.

I shall objectively compare said bastions of influence across four categories important for anyone looking to visit or move to one of these locales. This is the first of such posts.

Transit

It’s a 5 hour bus ride between NYC and DC. As far as bus rides go it’s not a bad one. Wifi, dvd movie to hold your attention and only one stop along the way. But it’s still a 5 hour bus ride. Negative 3 points for both cities.

When observing the methods of transportation in DC the marked differences between the two cities emerged. DC is a weird city-suburb hybrid. And feels about half the size of NYC. Which works out because their subway system is similarly about half the size of New York’s.

Washington DC

The pros

Padded seats? Carpeting on the subway? Subway cars with less than 8000 people on them? Holy shit this is the jackpot. I’ll just sit here and ride around in the lap of luxury all day. While the map first appears confusing, and faintly reminds of a swastika, the rail system is insanely easy to navigate. Only one train per color line and all routes move in a relative straight line.

Metro stations themselves, with their dimpled and domed ceilings look like submarine sea-labs or moon bases or some futuristic crap. And they’re clean. You don’t feel like you’re entering a crack house when you step inside one. Totally sweet. The crowning achievement of DC’s transit system are the electronic signs informing riders of waiting time and destination. Unlike in New York, you can walk into a random subway stop and know exactly how long your wait is and what the next stop will be. It’s like every train is the L train.

The cons

While the simplicity of the system deserves accolades, it sucks walking across the metropolitan DC area unless you’re dead in the middle. You can’t really get from Point A to Point B without routing yourself through the middle of the city. If you’re on the outer fringes, forget. It’ll take you forever to go into the central city then catch another trail. You might as well walk from Columbia Heights to Woodley Park.

Also, the subway closes. WTF is up with that. The trains stop running? So if I want to go to a bar and casually drink 16 Natty Ices I have to walk/take a cab/have a DD take me back home? Listen, I wouldn’t be so mad if the cabs weren’t absolute ripoffs. The base fare is like 3 bucks plus they charge per person and per piece of luggage. What the hell is that about. It’s only a backpack and a duffel bag you don’t need to charge me an extra 5 bucks, Achmed! And yes, the cabbie’s name was Achmed. And no I wasn’t out drinking Natty Ice with my duffel bag, those were separate incidents, but the point is the cabs still fuck you in the butt; financially speaking.

New York City

The Pros

You’re a smart reader. I trust you to figure out the downsides of DC’s transit system equate to the upsides of NYC’s and vise versa. I am comparing them to each other, after all. The subways in the city never close. Which is great because you can’t get a cab, on account of spending your 10 bucks at on stupid strawberry and butter crepe from some chick on the corner of Rivington and Ludlow. At least that’s better than spending 10 bucks and getting strawberry and butter Herpes from some chick on the corner of Rivington and Ludlow. It’s also good for your friends from Connecticut/Long Island/Jersey. They can always pass out on a bench when they realize they’ve missed the 3:37 train back home.

Similarly, you can get from Point A to Point B without having to do any horizontal walking across NYC (at least in Manhattan. All bets are off in outer boroughs). For the confusing nature of the subway map, with 10 different lines and 26 different trains, its still easier to get from any given point to any other without too much walking (uggh, walking).

The Cons

It takes some time to get the map down. It’s not the easiest. Seriously, look at that thing. But once you do, see above.

Some stations look like heaven (51^st and Lex) and some are just garbage (most station in the Bronx.) This is function of class division within the city, however. The trains are always crowded, the price are steep and will only go higher, and are run by the completely incompetent organization known as the MTA.

The Verdict

I’m a big fan of the creature comforts of padded seats and carpeting, but I don’t want to be walking another 8 blocks from my stop to my destination when its 25 degrees outside.

New York wins round 1.

Spider Man

Read the article at the site here: 9 News Australia

Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Turkey's Eve, Eve

Bitter Cold

I slept with no socks on last night. It was great. I woke up this morning and I wasn't shivering. Never in my life have I been so happy to see a 40 degree morning. I don't know if you've been in 25 deg weather, but it makes a 40 deg morning feel like a sauna. So joyous was I that I left for work without my gloves. MISTAKE.

Even though it was warm(er) by the time I got to work my hands looked like I had just finished putting up drywall. By the time I had ducked out to the pharmacy to buy myself some St. Ives I was dropping the "I just spent my morning kneading dough and doing handstands through a sandlot" line to defend myself.

The moral of the story? Cold weather = dry skin. Moisturize. Lotion: it isn't just for waxing your dick on a lonely night, it also hydrates your skin. It's a veritable panacea. It's the cure for whatever ails ya, as long as your ails are dry skin and blue balls. I still don't get people who don't moisturize.

Fast Fact: St. Ives is also a seaside village on the southern coast of England.

Más Sarah Palin
You've probably seen the video of Mrs. Palin giving an interview while a turkey gets its head sawed off in a grinder. Pretty funny. Check it out here.

Not gonna lie to you guy(s), I'd saw. Palin that is. I'd do her just to hear what she sounds like. Seems like she can barely speak correctly when she's focusing on it, I'm really intrigued to hear what she sounds like while catching a stiff D. My guess? Something like "ooooyeeeaahooooyeaaaahooooyeaaabetcha." I would absolutely die if I heard that.


Coming Soon:
To NYC: David Guetta. Dope
To O(h)NO (name of the blog, fyi): a 4 part comparison between all of the top cities in America. And by top cities I mean DC and NYC, the only two which I've recently visited. Two cities enter, one survives.

Listening to: Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin. If you can't appreciate this song you've failed as a person.

Hot Ridership of the Week

The best thing about living in New York: the abundance of hotness pervading the city. The cutie standing a few feet away from you is the only thing making your subway ride worthwhile when you're packed in like sardines on an overcrowded 4 train. While a fat guy "discreetly" tries to grab your junk

November 16-22

November 21

Hey, I think those two girls standing across from me were on the 4 Train down here. Damn. They're hot. The high boots. Skinny jeans. Black peacoat. I wonder where they're going on this L Train. Dressed too well to be leaving Manhattan. They have to be going to Stuy Town...just like me. We're only 4 feet apart, too bad there are 823 wannabe hipster Brooklynites standing between us. Those losers should go back home and just ride the G train.

I'll casually slink through the crush and slide up over and start up a convo.

...K, let me just...wait, what? This is 1st ave. They're not getting off? They're going to Brooklyn? Damn It. Thats disgusting.

It's ok, becuase the two girls on who rode on the same 4 and L trains as I this past Saturday were the two hottest riders on the New York transit system last week. Despite the fact they went to Brooklyn.

Fart, and get arrested

13 Year Old Arrested for Farting

Th-Th-Th-Throwback

When Cash Money Records Ruled the World

Drop it Like it’s Hot by Lil’ Wayne ft. BG and Mannie Fresh

1999. Cash Money Records was at the height of its powers. Everything it produced turned to gold.

They didn't make a video for this song, so you'll have to make do with a mashup of some Weezy clips.

I’m still amazed from the brazenness of this song. Did no one else catch that CMR would just take one line from one song and turn it into an entirely new one. Remember Back that Azz Up? The song that got all those awkward middle school dances on and popping? Not only is that a good song, it also marks Lil’ Wayne’s lyrical debut. Or at least I don’t remember him being on anything else before that. And I’m too lazy to research the fact. So I’m calling it his debut.

Drop it Like Its Hot, Wayne’s single, is just his verse from the Juvenile song. He literally took the verse from the Juvenile song, extended it to 5 minutes, and pawned if off as something new. That’s atrocious. It’s like copying and pasting an essay and resubmitting it to the same professor. Terrible. But guess what?

I fucking love this song. I love almost everything CMR did during the 1998-2001 glory years. I know it wasn’t that great, technically or lyrically. It doesn’t matter. They had to have had at least 10 platinum records in that time span. I even liked Young Turk. I like Baller Blockin’ even though the E-40 verse SUCKS. I like Southern hip-hop, so I’m used to bad rapping, but that is one of the worst verses I have ever heard.

Aside: I met a homeless looking bum who claimed to be BG while traipsing around DC a few years ago. I couldn’t tell if it was him or not. But what a perfect cover story. “Hi, I’m some rapper you’ve heard of but hasn’t been relevant in a couple years. Please give me some change”

Aside 2: Wayne was only 17, yes 17, when he released the single

Aside 3: Why was it called Back that Azz Up. What was the point of Azz? He was really saying “ass,” just title it Back that Ass Up. Did Juvenile physically want me to delete the spaces in my sentences and Back that “As” up? You trying to give me some syntactical assistance, Juvey? Because it sure sounds like it.

And for the hell of it, here is the song that put Cash Money on the map. Unarguably the best song to come from the label. Compare Wayne's verse to the one above... This song still makes me want to party.

Here's Hoping

Texas Tech v Florida

It’s amazing how little enthusiasm for college football there is in New York. It’s mind boggling. Maybe it’s because the nearest squad is Rutgers. And they kinda suck.

As I’m from Florida, the collegiate football capital, I gladly assume the role of College Football Guru. Screw Lou Holtz’s crazy ass and every other expert on ESPN. I got you covered.

What do you want to see with your college football season? Chaos. Complete chaos. You want to see Murphy’s Law go to town on the BCS. You want to see Florida lose to Florida State, and then for UF to beat the shit out of Alabama. Do you rank a 2-loss SEC champion ahead of a 1-loss at large team? You want to see Oklahoma beat Texas Tech, then Missouri upset whoever wins the Big 12 South in the title game. You want to see every top team have at least one loss. You want to see Penn State lose to Michigan State, and if the BCS will be tempted enough to put Ohio State in a third straight title game. You want to see Oregon State win out; and see a 1-loss, top 5 ranked USC team possibly not play in the BCS at all.

But that isn’t going to happen. Because it won’t happen, and because a playoff is nowhere in sight, we must have Florida versus Texas Tech in the title game. We NEED to see this matchup in the title game.

Why do we need this game? Because it gives you everything you could ever ask for in a football game: OFFENSE. Defenses need not apply. What would the over-under of this game be? 120? 130 points? This game will be 42-38 by halftime. Tebow will have 300 yards passing and another 150 rushing. Graham Harrell will throw for at least 700. What else could you ask for?
Ask for Peter Warrick reeling this one in, despite pass interference, and leading the comeback victory against Va Tech in the 2000 Sugar Bowl.

Ruminations about college football:

• Nothing, absolutely nothing, screams college football more than the state of Florida.

• As a kid I wouldn’t dare wear blue during the last week of November, lest someone mistake me for a Florida Gators fan. In high school I placed bets with my History teacher over college those rivalry games. To this day I still have an irrational hate for Danny Wuerffel. And Jacquez Green. And Doug effing Johnson. Needless to say I was a huge FSU fan.

• Once I left the state the passion for the rivalry also left. It’s really hard to care about UF versus FSU when I’m 600 miles away in a basketball state.

• Even with my undying hate for Wuerffel et al, I root for Florida teams in general. And Southern Cal. I visited that school, it was dope. Smoking hot student body, but the police choppers cruising overhead on visitation weekend proved a little unsettling.

• Back up running back for Florida, Jeffrey Demps, ran a 10.01 100 meter dash. In high school. He is faster than you.
  

• If you think rooting for more than one team from my state makes me a bad fan, Go Eat a dick.

• I can think of two that can go eat a dick right now: Oklahoma and Ohio State.

OU beat the Seminoles in the'01 title game. AND Jason White won the Heisman…Seriously? That’s like nominating Richard Nixon for inclusion on Mount Rushmore. The ass whooping they got in the Orange Bowl righted the wrong.

OSU shit the bed in two straight national title games and were gifted another against Miami. And yet, the team and its fans maintain a ridiculous sense of entitlement.

Random Thoughts

Keeping it Real

Pro football player DeAngelo Hall signed a $70 million contract last offseason. He drinks the same champagne I do. Andre. The best $3, strawberry flavored bubbly available. That stuff goes down like Kool - Aid.

The guy at the liquor store sees a red Ferrari pull up, an NFL player hop out and thinks CHA-CHING. This dude is gonna roll up and buy some Hennessy, Moet, Cristal, and some Old English --for good measure. Instead he picks up what a college guy buys because the sorority girl he's trying to mack on doesn't like the taste of beer.

He also has a white wife (gasp). Or maybe shes just light-skinned. I can't tell. Anybody know?

Fact

The Chrysler building can be seen from as far south as Bowling Green and as far north as Jankee Stadium (soft J, fool.)

It can probably be seen from further reaches but I have no need to ever go to Brooklyn or the Northern Bronx. Ick. I got a little sick just typing that.

Look in the middle of the picture. See that small, tapered, cone of light? Thats it. As seen from The Stadium

And I bet you thought I was posting a picture of darkness. I'd just upload the poster for Blade if I wanted to do that...



...Because Wesley (Nestlé) Snipes is very swarthy fellow, you see.



For my 3 readers, more posts to come later. Now, I'm telling you what song I'm listening to. Yeah, thats right, I know your entire day hinges on knowing what is playing on my iTunes at this exact minute.


Listening to: Dawn of the Dead by Does it Offend You, Yeah

Random Thoughts

I just finished watching CSI: Miami. That Hispanic looking detective is way attractive. Check her out at her website. Here. I hope she sees this. She’s single. I’m single…

Every time I come back from the gym I can only think of one thing: MEAT

Election Rhymes with Erection. Who woulda thought.

If there’s one thing I pride myself on in this blog, it’s timely political coverage. When the story broke, in August 2007, of Larry Craig getting busted for trying to get some hot dude on dude action in a rando bathroom I immediately thought: I’m going to blog about that. In November…in 2008.

Watch this video. Hilarity. Everyone should’ve seen his arrest coming 8 years earlier. Look at the smile that creeps onto his face towards the end. Then look at Chris Matthews’ utter shock. Priceless.

Also this, Barack goes Wu-Tang. CREAM, get the money, dollar dollar bill y’all.

And this, great for erections everywhere. You know Joe wants a piece.

I’ll make actual political commentary someday. After all, it was a focus of my studies whilst in school. So I know a thing or two, or three…no, actually I know just two things about politics.

1. A candidate’s job is to get elected. That’s it. It’s not to deliver campaign promises, or change the world, or govern with any semblance of efficacy (looking at you, W.) It’s electoral inertia. Get in power, stay in power. We’ll see if Obama can keep his promises. Similarly, if electoral is a word, what would be its boner rhyme equivalent? Erectoral? If I watch porn in a dorm room, am I in the erectoral college?

2. In 1856 some senator, Charles Sumner to be exact, was bludgeoned in the Senate Chamber. By a cane. Read the Wikipedia entry. Sen. Preston Brooks BEAT THAT ASS. Fun, possibly true Wikipedia fact: Sen Brooks had a body man pointing a gun to everyone else who tried to interfere with the smackdown. That’s some serious disdain. I imagine Brooks did to Sumner what the Isley Brothers did to R. Kelly at the end of the “Keep It On The Down Low” video: BEAT THAT ASS.

And this is the senate. The patricians of the legislature. If this happened in the seedy House, no one would’ve cared. But these people are supposed to be professional. Could you imagine if this happened today. Chuck Schumer would be on some tirade about ethics. And Ted Stevens would come up and just BEAT THAT ASS with his cane or walker or whatever.

3. Bonus boner fact: 42nd President William "Bill" Jefferson Clinton has the initials BJC. Coincidence: hell no.

5 Amazing Albums You Should Buy. Or download. Or whatever

I never took well to lists of “the best albums of the year.” Music is subjective. Just what the hell does Rolling Stone think it is, telling which albums are the best. Oh, so just because your writers studied music in college, spent their career listening to and researching it, or even created their own; I should drop everything and heed your opinion? What a bunch of communists.

And, in no particular order:

Purple Rain – Prince

Nine tracks of pure aural sex. This album is amazingly put together and each song segues to the next perfectly. Transitioning from the up-tempo, party starting “Lets Go Crazy” to “Purple Rain” is seamless. And on Purple Rain, that song is immaculate. No flaws in that baby. I bet Prince spent 3 months just recording that one song. If only “Computer Blue” made any sense. Fun fact: after hearing the song “Darling Nikki” Tipper and Al Gore went to court and essentially created the Parental Advisory Warning. Years later, that same warning would cause the clerk at FYE to give me shit when I tried to buy Mase's Harlem World as a kid.

Best Track: Purple Rain, obviously

Reasonable Doubt – Jay-Z

While it was Jay-Z’s “Vol. 2 Hard Knock life” that kept this middle schooler glued to my Sony CFD-8 (not the exact, close enough), “Reasonable Doubt” Jay-Z’s first album, is definitely his best, or at least my favorite. I’m not about to turn into a commie Stones beat writer here. You know Jay doesn’t write down his rhymes, right? Of course you did. Listen to 22 Two’s and be amazed by the one (or would that be two?) liners. Can I Live, Feelin’ It, Dead Presidents…almost every track would show up on a Jay-Z greatest hits album. Lyrical Gem.

Best Track: Feelin’ It


The Essential Michael Jackson – Michael Jackson

This is a greatest hits CD. Picking this is cheap. It's cheating. Whatever. Having to choose between Bad, Thriller, and Off The Wall is akin to choosing how I want to die. Would I rather be mangled by a shark, an alligator, or a half-shark half-gator hybrid? For the record, I’d pick the Shartor (yup, I know what that sounds like.) Thanks to Steve Jobs for iTunes and customizable playlists. If I were still listening on the old CFD-8 I’d have to change disks to listen to Bad and Beat It (the second greatest song ever) consecutively. What mental defective decided that track order?

Best Track: Beat It, easily


Dedication 2 – Lil’ Wayne

The freestyle, redefined. I took a long road trip junior year of college with one of my good friends. We listened to Dedication 2 almost exclusively. The day I procured this album was one of the happiest days of my life. No lie. You like puns? Metaphors? Or any other literary device you’ve tried to avoid since you took Comp in high school? Then get this album. Don’t get it if you don’t like rappers who rhyme a word with…the same word. Or if you don’t like artists who skillfully merge disparate topics, like sex and DiGiorno’s, together. And it's better than Carter 3.

Best Track: Workin’ Em


Alive 2007 – Daft Punk

If it were physically possible, I could probably get off simply by listening to this album. Who needs a girl when you have a vocoder and synth. To fully appreciate this album you have to own/have listened to their previous three. It’s like one long, orgasmic mash up of all their tunes sewn together.

Best Track: Da Funk/Daftendirekt

Hot Ridership of the Week

The best thing about living in New York: the abundance of hotness pervading the city. The cutie standing a few feet away from you is the only thing making your subway ride worthwhile when you're packed in like sardines on an overcrowded 4 train. While a fat guy "discreetly" tries to grab your junk.

November 10
This weeks hottie: The girl in the gray skinny jeans who got on the A-train at West 4th. Damn. You are hot.

Down The Rabbit Hole

I went to school in the South. And live in New York. Up the coast I go. I’ll be in Montreal by the time I’m 26.

When blogs were first becoming popular—before succumbing to corporate hackdom—I thought they were dumb. But now that everyone has them, they must be cool, right?

I think I have an undiagnosed case of ADD. Which sucks. Because I’m missing out on a ton of Adderall.

I like sports. Like love sports. Maybe I should blog about sports. But here’s the thing about blogs. They’re oft written by experts (thanks corporate America), and over devoted amateurs who wish they were experts. Like people who spend their Saturday nights watching a rain delayed World Series game until 2 in the morning then immediately post about it. I love sports, but would rather spend my weekend going out.

There are tons of stuff I'm going to write about. But that stuff requires research, editing, and just too much thinking for a Saturday night. That will all come later.

Here is the blog. About everything that pops into my head long enough for me to type down.