5 Amazing Albums You Should Buy. Or download. Or whatever

I never took well to lists of “the best albums of the year.” Music is subjective. Just what the hell does Rolling Stone think it is, telling which albums are the best. Oh, so just because your writers studied music in college, spent their career listening to and researching it, or even created their own; I should drop everything and heed your opinion? What a bunch of communists.

And, in no particular order:

Purple Rain – Prince

Nine tracks of pure aural sex. This album is amazingly put together and each song segues to the next perfectly. Transitioning from the up-tempo, party starting “Lets Go Crazy” to “Purple Rain” is seamless. And on Purple Rain, that song is immaculate. No flaws in that baby. I bet Prince spent 3 months just recording that one song. If only “Computer Blue” made any sense. Fun fact: after hearing the song “Darling Nikki” Tipper and Al Gore went to court and essentially created the Parental Advisory Warning. Years later, that same warning would cause the clerk at FYE to give me shit when I tried to buy Mase's Harlem World as a kid.

Best Track: Purple Rain, obviously

Reasonable Doubt – Jay-Z

While it was Jay-Z’s “Vol. 2 Hard Knock life” that kept this middle schooler glued to my Sony CFD-8 (not the exact, close enough), “Reasonable Doubt” Jay-Z’s first album, is definitely his best, or at least my favorite. I’m not about to turn into a commie Stones beat writer here. You know Jay doesn’t write down his rhymes, right? Of course you did. Listen to 22 Two’s and be amazed by the one (or would that be two?) liners. Can I Live, Feelin’ It, Dead Presidents…almost every track would show up on a Jay-Z greatest hits album. Lyrical Gem.

Best Track: Feelin’ It


The Essential Michael Jackson – Michael Jackson

This is a greatest hits CD. Picking this is cheap. It's cheating. Whatever. Having to choose between Bad, Thriller, and Off The Wall is akin to choosing how I want to die. Would I rather be mangled by a shark, an alligator, or a half-shark half-gator hybrid? For the record, I’d pick the Shartor (yup, I know what that sounds like.) Thanks to Steve Jobs for iTunes and customizable playlists. If I were still listening on the old CFD-8 I’d have to change disks to listen to Bad and Beat It (the second greatest song ever) consecutively. What mental defective decided that track order?

Best Track: Beat It, easily


Dedication 2 – Lil’ Wayne

The freestyle, redefined. I took a long road trip junior year of college with one of my good friends. We listened to Dedication 2 almost exclusively. The day I procured this album was one of the happiest days of my life. No lie. You like puns? Metaphors? Or any other literary device you’ve tried to avoid since you took Comp in high school? Then get this album. Don’t get it if you don’t like rappers who rhyme a word with…the same word. Or if you don’t like artists who skillfully merge disparate topics, like sex and DiGiorno’s, together. And it's better than Carter 3.

Best Track: Workin’ Em


Alive 2007 – Daft Punk

If it were physically possible, I could probably get off simply by listening to this album. Who needs a girl when you have a vocoder and synth. To fully appreciate this album you have to own/have listened to their previous three. It’s like one long, orgasmic mash up of all their tunes sewn together.

Best Track: Da Funk/Daftendirekt