Kansas, among other states, is considering abolishing the death penalty in order to save costs. Peep the article, yo. And according to this report it costs$1.26 million to kill someone and only $740k to keep someone in jail for life.
Um, how the hell does it cost that much to kill a person? If someone is facing the death penalty, they probably killed someone. And if they get the death penalty, they probably don't have $1.26 million. We all know rich people don't get death, right OJ? Typical Democrats, they can't even execute people without wasting tons of tax payer money. There are definitely ways to end lives more cheaply. But, supposedly, death penalties are supposed to be all humane and stuff. Here's how you save money, Kansas. Car+ running engine+potato in the muffler Beverly Hills Cop style. Job done with only the cost of gas. That's like $20 bucks if you drive a Civic.
So back to the original question, how does it cost that much to kill someone? Oh, you mean it was all delineated in the report I linked to above? And the cost figures include the entire trial, sentencing, AND capital punishment process - not just the killing? And Kansas can reduce costs if people simply stopped killing each other? Well then, sounds like someone just wasted 5 minutes reading this post.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
beautiful
The downside to owning a broken iPod: the morning commute just got a lot longer. And there's the prospect of upgrading. Do you go with the 475 gb (coming soon!) classic video iPod or opt for the iPod touch weighing in at a paltry 16. In either case, as soon as a new one is bought; Steve Jobs' backup will roll out a brand new version just to piss you off. I didn't even realize how much music I don't listen to until it broke. I don't even know what the popular songs are right now. It's Dark and Hell's Hot is still number one, right? Right?
But not having any tunes in the morning does make one (myself being the one) a lot more observant of other goings on in this fair city of New York. That and my mind wanders a lot.
The 12's. Prettiest sneaker or the prettiest sneaker? I want a pair of these, but when am I ever going to wear high tops? ...Maybe I should tuck my jeans into them, that'd be sweet
Sunset over just the tip of Manhattan.
Snowfall. Breaking out my inner Ansel Adams. Snow is pretty terrible. Sure it looks good, but then it turns to ice and beckons you to fall all over it. Kind of like that girl you've been courting.
Back of last Weds Metro. Make the Power Move...to the Power House. Where all the residents are power brokers who wear power ties. Power, power, power.
Beautiful. Former home of the Chrysler (yes, the car company) Co. As seen from Bowling Green, or SoHo, or maybe it was Murray Hill. I dunno.
Citigroup Center on 53rd. I'm kind of obsessed with this thing.
It's on stilts.
But not having any tunes in the morning does make one (myself being the one) a lot more observant of other goings on in this fair city of New York. That and my mind wanders a lot.
The 12's. Prettiest sneaker or the prettiest sneaker? I want a pair of these, but when am I ever going to wear high tops? ...Maybe I should tuck my jeans into them, that'd be sweet
Sunset over just the tip of Manhattan.
Snowfall. Breaking out my inner Ansel Adams. Snow is pretty terrible. Sure it looks good, but then it turns to ice and beckons you to fall all over it. Kind of like that girl you've been courting.
Back of last Weds Metro. Make the Power Move...to the Power House. Where all the residents are power brokers who wear power ties. Power, power, power.
Beautiful. Former home of the Chrysler (yes, the car company) Co. As seen from Bowling Green, or SoHo, or maybe it was Murray Hill. I dunno.
Citigroup Center on 53rd. I'm kind of obsessed with this thing.
It's on stilts.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Superman Weave
Easily one of the funniest things I've heard.
A woman's hair weave stopped a speeding bullet from splattering her brains on the sidewalk.
You know how I know you're black?
Because there's a Schlitz truck parked in front of my office? Or because this post is about bullet proof hair weaves and malt liquor.
A woman's hair weave stopped a speeding bullet from splattering her brains on the sidewalk.
Police in Kansas City, Mo., said a woman's tight hair weave stopped a bullet, rescuing her from injury and likely saving her life.
You know how I know you're black?
Because there's a Schlitz truck parked in front of my office? Or because this post is about bullet proof hair weaves and malt liquor.
******Update. Now with Video*******
Rando Japanese Commercial
Not directly related to my specific thesis but it certainly goes with my unfounded assault on Japanese culture (which is a random boredom-induced tangent, not to be taken even remotely seriously). Enjoy:
Translation:
“Let’s Slit Our Wrists! Yay yay! It’s so cute!”
“The design is cute! Even when you cut yourself, it doesn’t hurt! It makes the blood taste delicious!”
“On sale now, the cute design cutter!”
Its actually from a battle-royale like movie... its not a real commercial. But it certainly shows that Japan produces plenty of fucked up movies even outside of the adult film genre.
Translation:
“Let’s Slit Our Wrists! Yay yay! It’s so cute!”
“The design is cute! Even when you cut yourself, it doesn’t hurt! It makes the blood taste delicious!”
“On sale now, the cute design cutter!”
Its actually from a battle-royale like movie... its not a real commercial. But it certainly shows that Japan produces plenty of fucked up movies even outside of the adult film genre.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Japanese Girls Throwing Up in Each Other's Mouths? Part Zero
In the past week, Japan has recently taken two severe kicks to the scrotum. First, its political situation is pretty rocky, second, its economy is tanking at 3 times the speed of ours and its finance minister decided it would be a good idea to get shitfaced during the G7 conference and was forced to resign (since he no longer has the likes of George W. Bush around to upstage him). Thus, my goal is to cut down the third defining characteristic of Japan--its culture. Hopefully by the time you're done reading this series you'll realize that this country has absolutely no redeeming qualities.
The Japanese are typically thought of as an orderly, clean, respectful and honorable people. Which is why this article caught my attention. (For the lazy, it's Titled: Japan to stop producing weirdo porn that makes people Puke) Yes, I'll concede--it's from The Onion--but somehow there's always some truth to those pieces. And so I dug deeper and did some investigation so you don't have to; you can thank me for the saved time later. Ironically, in order to get around censors, the country of Bukkakke created some of the most innovative (see: filthiest) Adult films and sex toys imaginable. Apparently, Japan's Porn Industry is equal to 1% of its GDP (roughly equivalent to its military budget). At one point, much of this revenue came from vending machines selling soiled schoolgirl panties. Its as if Dov Charney and R. Kelly joined forces to create their hedonist utopia.
I'll publish my extensive investigative reporting in a three part mini-series starting this week. Or not, depending on (1) whether or not I boot uncontrollably while typing or (2) how much you throw up on your keyboard after the first report. Stay tuned. Or not.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
FML, Okay to Say?
I don't really know about actually using the phrase "FML" in everyday speech/text/whatever. What happened to the ever so empowering "over it" to signify one's progression away from a fortuitously shitty situation. Now we slink back into melancholy with "FML." That, and it's an abbrev, can't actually say that shit. It's like dropping an FYI or BTW in conversation. Which, no lie, I have done before. That's what this blog is all about, me coming clean and telling the truth. That and having chicks rail lines off of your cock. You know, just in case you forgot that story. The author should have another story coming up once I can wrangle it out of him. Or maybe it's a her! You watch Law and Order SVU last night? Chicks can have cocks too!
On FML and its very own website, aptly titled fmylife.com I am reminded of this entry
In any case, If the guy is drunk he's not going to get off, which is why dude from the above quote stopped. Why would he work himself up just to not get off? You have to stop at the point. It'd be like giving yourself blue balls, terrible idea. And if he gets blue balls he's probably (likely) going to wet the bed while slumbering as he sobers up. I don't think females understand this concept. It's like shaking up a bottle of soda. It's going to release at some point. At that point she'd have to change her sheets. And I know everyone knows how annoying it is to wash sheets on a random non-laundry day. And you know you'd forget about that stuff until right before you're about to sleep and be all like "fuck, I have to wash that stain out my sheets" and then its either A) sleep on it B) stay up and wash it or C) covertly steal one of your roommates sheet sets. Or you can be a G and sleep without sheets. It's cool, sheets aren't that important.
How long would it take to grab a towel and wipe down your face. Like 45 secs? And it'd take 2 hours of hauling laundry around to the wash sheets. Kneeling tall and taking one for the team is much more economical. Or, better yet, take it down (literally) - gokkun style. BTW do not google that word. That's the most economical of all. Takes like 3 seconds.
See ladies, I'm just looking out for you. Giving you the best advice to maximize your utility in this world.
And peep the picture, its of "FML". Which apparently is some sort of drug, bc the picture came from drugs.com....There's not one sequitur thought in this post. It's obviously have some form of ADD
On FML and its very own website, aptly titled fmylife.com I am reminded of this entry
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FMLThat's the best entry I've come across. I sort of wish I could talk to that girl and tell her it's not her fault. Unless, of course, she's butt ass ugly. Such a double standard that ugly girls can still get laid but dudes have to put in effort to get in there...But I guess that just answers my question. Since a dude can always downgrade to an ugly trick if he doesn't really want to try that hard... no, but then ugly dudes won't be able to get any if all the ugly girls are taken. Unless they're rich. Or an athlete. I'm theorizing myself in circles now... you can tell that I'm writing this right as I think it, right?
In any case, If the guy is drunk he's not going to get off, which is why dude from the above quote stopped. Why would he work himself up just to not get off? You have to stop at the point. It'd be like giving yourself blue balls, terrible idea. And if he gets blue balls he's probably (likely) going to wet the bed while slumbering as he sobers up. I don't think females understand this concept. It's like shaking up a bottle of soda. It's going to release at some point. At that point she'd have to change her sheets. And I know everyone knows how annoying it is to wash sheets on a random non-laundry day. And you know you'd forget about that stuff until right before you're about to sleep and be all like "fuck, I have to wash that stain out my sheets" and then its either A) sleep on it B) stay up and wash it or C) covertly steal one of your roommates sheet sets. Or you can be a G and sleep without sheets. It's cool, sheets aren't that important.
How long would it take to grab a towel and wipe down your face. Like 45 secs? And it'd take 2 hours of hauling laundry around to the wash sheets. Kneeling tall and taking one for the team is much more economical. Or, better yet, take it down (literally) - gokkun style. BTW do not google that word. That's the most economical of all. Takes like 3 seconds.
See ladies, I'm just looking out for you. Giving you the best advice to maximize your utility in this world.
And peep the picture, its of "FML". Which apparently is some sort of drug, bc the picture came from drugs.com....There's not one sequitur thought in this post. It's obviously have some form of ADD
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Word of the Week
Inveterate: firmly established by long persistence, habitual.
How did I go through my entire life not knowing this word existed. Scientists say you can measure one's intelligence by the number of words he/she knows. Well, after today, I'm up to 6. Fuck yeah. You can totally drop this word during a casual conversation and see that awkward smile pop up on the other person's face while he or she waits for you to turn around to stealthily Google it on his/her blackberry. Only to find out that it only means "habitual."
Charlie Murphy's character would've been infinitely more complex had he referred to Rick James as an "inveterate line stepper." This has gotta be one of the best words ever, right after "copacetic," "jam," and "slore."
How did I go through my entire life not knowing this word existed. Scientists say you can measure one's intelligence by the number of words he/she knows. Well, after today, I'm up to 6. Fuck yeah. You can totally drop this word during a casual conversation and see that awkward smile pop up on the other person's face while he or she waits for you to turn around to stealthily Google it on his/her blackberry. Only to find out that it only means "habitual."
Charlie Murphy's character would've been infinitely more complex had he referred to Rick James as an "inveterate line stepper." This has gotta be one of the best words ever, right after "copacetic," "jam," and "slore."
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